As I spent a long time training Wheezy Kid, trying to rid him of that glossed-over-eyes look he always has on his face, I realized that his problem with self-defense was only half his fault. Sure, he's not very bright, but I started to wonder if we weren't leading this kid astray. I mean, what's the more likely scenario for him- geeitng a knife pulled on him in the mean streets of Skaneatles, or getting the crap kicked out of him by some fat bully at school?
Upon this epiphany, I realized that a lot of our self-defense is not even close to age appropriate. I mean, we teach 8 year olds the same defense against a gun that we do police officers.At that tender age, they are more likely going to blow their own fingers off playing with a gun. And self defense for women? Oh....they want to learn how to defend themselves against big men, but won't spar with one. Gimme a break.
So what is good self defense? I started to wonder...how would I do it if I had the freedom to teach it any way I wanted? I pretty much do that anyway, but...
I'd have to start with one very important piece of information. A weapon, be it gun or pepper spray only makes you safer if 1) you actually have it on you and 2) you know how to use it. Weapons do more harm than good in the hands of idiots, and E.R.s are packed with people who end up shooting themselves (Ahem, Mr.Former Football Star). You are best off training in a weapon that neither is forgotten at home nor needs to be licensed- yourself.
So that being said, what do you do? Well, it depends on your own personal situation. But I feel guna nd knife defense has no place in junior level karate unless you teach a program in an inner city. Since I teach mostly rich white kids, they will probably buy their own security living in posh places or quaint towns the rest of their lives. For everyone else, we must look around and realize what it is we really have to be afraid of.
Little kids- The worse nightmare of any parent is their child being swiped or abused by some creepy pedophile. Unfortunately, these things happen, but stats actually say your kid ought to be more afraid of you, the parent. 78% of all kid abductions happen because a non-custodial parent takes them. With this in mind, take a good hard look at your spouse (or ex-spouse) as a possible culprit. Has he/she had a violent past? Are they possessive? If they ever did run off with your child, where or who would they go to?
Little kid self defense is the only kind of defense I think that is actually done right in this country. Stranger danger education is key, and keeping records of your child is essential in case your child ever does go missing. Little kids of course can defend themselves too. Yelling to the top of his/her lungs has never failed to get attention in a crowded grocery store, and the same action is likely to get people to notice and come to their aid. Little kids are also excellent biters. Most importantly a kid should be able to call home and/or 911 on a phone in case of an emergency.
School-aged kids- Ah, the dreaded bully. The whole reason why most parents put their kids in martial arts, and you guess it, we don't do a good enough job with it. Traditional martial arts focuses on correct form. Bullies have no form. They know three basic principles; "attack kids smaller than me, punch them in the face, and (if they plan this far ahead) bring my friends." Why doesn't self-defense work? Because we spent so much time telling kids "don't get into trouble, or you'll never get into Ivy League!" The truth of the matter is, one detention means nothing. Wheezy kid is a good example of this. He told us one day he got beat up at school (I believe he used the word 'again' after that sentence), and when I asked him why he didn't fight back, he told me "Well, I didn't want to get detention." Wow. This problem is easily fixable, parents. Have a discussion with your child about when it is appropriate to use martial arts. When faced with a hospital bill, one measily detention won't make you mad at them. Explain to your kids it is okay if that happens, but only in that instance.
We as martial arts teachers need to teach quick and appropriate "fight enders". Most real bullies probably have never actually fought a day in their lives, and would probably whine the moment they get hit (Cartman). The problem with kids today is most of their reperetoire comes from sitting on their ass watching TV- they think wrestling and MMA matches are real fights. They couldn't be more wrong. Real fights are dirty. Real fights don't involve straight punches and do-overs. All kids in martial arts should know a "warning shot, fight ender" exercise. The longer the fight goes, the worse it will get. Plus, we want that bully to be sorry he messed with your kid. If you look to get your kids into martial arts for this reason, eaxmine the school's curriculum carefully. Point sparring is not self defense, and I make it a point to tell kids that every chance I get. A good school will work self defense every class, if not weekly. If it's an afterthought (a one sentence blurb on your kid's list of requirements for a belt), walk out and enroll your kid elsewhere.
Older kids- I feel very strongly about this. The biggest threat to your kid is their own stupidity, primarily involving the internet. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to have my own phone, let alone my own computer, in my room. We all shared one computer that was in a high-traffic room of the house, and whatever dumb ideas I had went out the window because I didn't want my parents reading my business over my shoulder. I'm just saying, independence is needed, but should be earned slowly. If your child has no respect for your authority pertaining to rules, then how can they respect their own safety? Set reasonable rules for your kid, and stick to them. If they must have their own computer, limit the time they spend on it. At the very least it will help out their waistline. Explain to them it's a really dumb idea posting personal information or pictures to people they don't know, even if they sound "friendly". And educate yourself about cyber bullying and cyber sex. I guarantee your 12 year old knows more about it than you do. Now is not the time to act embarrassed.
The other main issue at this age has to do with dating, and it's especially crucial for teens to understand the patterns of bad relationships. Domestic violence is not just hitting- it's psychological control. I'll cover this more in the adult categories. But the good thing at this age is that you still have influence over who your son/daughter is allowed to see. I can hear you now, "But my child sees him/her anyway". Without driving your kid away, make it worth their while to do something else with their time. Get them lessons in an activity they like or ease restrictions on over friends that aren't really that bad. Hey, if the guy with the piercing is most respectful to your daughter than the douche bag she's dating, then you shouldn't have beef with him. Which leads us into another problematic group...
Women- Ladies, we of the martial arts world have failed you too. All the ads promising you 100% fool-proof self defense and courses teaching you to beat on a poor padded guy, have led you into a false sense of why you needed self-defense in the first place. Just like kids, the most likely assailant is not some crazed serial rapist, it's somebody close to home- your guy. And as I mentioned before, it is about the need to possess. Often, your best self-defense starts with the guys you choose to date. Sure the bad boys are fun, but they are called bad for a reason. And a guy who seems harmless but tells you what clothes you should wear, or when you can talk to your friends, will never grow out of it. Oh and men, this is also true for you. Women can be equally nuts.When you regonize the pattern of bad partners, you'll avoid them.
But what about those scary rapists? Well, again, it largely depends on where you live and the kind of activites you do. People who live in crime-ridden cities know there are certain places you avoid completely, or after certain time of day. At college parties, keep your drink on hand at all times and pour/get your own drink. Stay with people you came with (safety in numbers) and leave together. If it comes to walking alone or hailing a cab, get a cab. It's worth the money. Joggers....seriously, get off the phone or Ipod. And again, jog in numbers. All in all, learn to develop your instincts. If some place or somebody doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
As for what to do once you encounter a rape situation? Well, this is why you go to get training. And one class won't do it. Like CPR, you should renew your skills. Find a place that will offer either class or seminars in self-defense year-round. See my argument for school aged kid as to what to look for. Look, no mater what, understand that this person wants to hurt you. The line is crossed already. It's on. DO EVERYTHING. Bite, kick, headbutt, scream, claw at whatever you can grab and dig in with your nails. Know that even if things go south, you have enough DNA on that s.o.b. to put him in the slammer. When weapons are involved, there are two schools of thought- comply, or don't. Again, he means to hurt you. Most of the time, it's a scare tactic. Some training is need to overcome this, but it isn't rocket science. Above all else, don't let the perp. drag you away. Your chance of survival goes way down at that point. Fight like hell.
Men- Ah... what can I say? The best thing a man can do to protect himself? Shut the hell up. Sometimes it's best to walk away from a douche bag, than it is to argue with him, especially if the douche is packing heat. No trivial misunderstanding is worth losing your life over. Don't advertise that you have martial arts training, either. The best weapon in self-defense is the element of surprise. I laugh at guys wearing mma shirts. They are asking for it. Your two months of couch-jutsu training is not only just enough to get you hurt in a fight, it's enough to get your ass thrown in jail.
Also understand that the odds are against you when defending yourself against a woman. Much like a police officer can't bludgeon every criminal with his baton, you should be thinking about how much force is appropriate to subdue your crazy girlfriend. It's a horrible double standard, but the truth is if you lose your cool and punch your girlfriend, then she can turn it against you and you, the victim, will be the one going to jail.
But what about the guns, knives, chains, clubs? I honestly only know one place that will give you all the education you could ever want on them- jail. Either your a criminal or a security guard. Either way, your self defense skills are probably better than most karate people. If crime isn't your thing, perhaps the military is. I have never heard anything bad about the self-defense training soldiers get- after all, protection is their job. Be wary though of those who claim military service and for just $199, will teach you all their secrets.
As you can see, self-defense is and should be different for everyone. A one-size-fits-all approach is not healthy, nor is it comprehensible to the general population. We as martial arts teachers need to do a better job of addressing each one of our students' concerns in this matter. Self defense is our bread and butter, not the side dish.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
SIDE NOTE: The ten most common questions asked on Yahoo answers martial arts section
1) I want to learn how to street fight. Will (insert art here) help me?
You don't need a martial art to be a good fighter. What you need is to live in a tough neighborhood, have a death wish, and buy knife or gun. Then, if you're not dead from your first fight, have a good lawyer on speed dial. I question whether or not most people understand the definition of a street fight. As I have previously said before, a cage fight involves a referee and rules, whereas a street fight involves lop-sided odds usually not in your favor and weapons (usually guns). A street fight is neither a cage match, nor a hair-pulling shoving match you get in junior high. When someone asks this question, you not only get the idea that they have a serious problem with thinking fights are cool, but they are exactly looking for the anti-thesis to self defense- never start shit.
2) Do you think if I train real hard, I could be a UFC fighter?
No.
3) My parents won't let me train in (insert art here). What do I do/how can I convince them?
A parent, when it's their money, will part with it for you if it's a necessity or it benefits them to do so. If, by some chance, they believe that the particular gym/studio is too expensive, they will refuse a child's request. At least, most sane parents do. A kid cannot convince them otherwise, nor is it polite to try to. Welcome to one of the most important pillars of martial arts- if you want something bad enough, you have to work for it. That means, you might actually have to get a job. This is not a bad thing. When you pay for your own lessons, you appreciate them more. You try harder, you go whenever you can- because it is an unsound investment if you do- and that in turn makes you a better, more mature martial artist than a child ever will be.
4)How much is too much for classes?
If you cannot make the monthly payment without difficulty, it's too much. If the place you are looking at offers you a "deal" meaning you have to sign a contract, run don't walk out. Remember that for most of us, as much as we swear it's a "lifestyle" it's not necessary to keep living and breathing. Unless you can make a substantial living at martial arts,- you are a great businessman hell-bent on taking our money, or an action star- you need to consider it a hobby. If class dues come before your family's needs or your own health, then it's not worth it.
5) What art should I study?
You can only study what is in your area. If it means driving 2 hours every day from home or work, then it's not worth it. Start by opening your phone book or looking on Google, cross off any that you are not willing to drive to, and if you don't live in a metropolitan area, it will leave you with a small list of candidates. If you have no preference for one art over the other (and do NOT listen to what other practitioners tell you. They are so knee-deep in their own junk that they have stopped emptying their cup years ago) then your question really becomes "what school/gym should I go to?" Make time to visit each school on your list. Come prepared with questions, and ask to watch a class. Most schools will let you watch and try a class for free. Don't leave without speaking to the head honcho. If he/she seems nervous, pushy, rude, or not-forthcoming, leave. When you find the right place for you, you know it. For experienced people looking for a new place to train, it's not always that simple, especially if it's impossible to study the art that you have been doing. You have to let go of all the preconceived notions of what the perfect a martial arts place should be, because you won't find it. Again, it's a timely and personal journey.
6) What does it take to be in the UFC?
Money, hard work, a good gym, top coaches, a positive training environment, getting noticed by promoters, sponsors to pay for training, a chance-of-a-lifetime fight (and winning that fight), an entourage to spread your name around, oh and ALL-AROUND SKILLS IN MARTIAL ARTS!
7) How would win in a street fight between (dead martial artist, martial artist/actor) and (animal-usually a grizzly bear or lion)?
The animal. Unless a shotgun is involved.
8) Which art is better, (art A) or (art B)?
Better for what? "Street fighting"? UFC? Pinochle? There is no "better" unless you provide some sort of abstract for weighing the pros and cons of studying certain arts, even then it is a personal question with a different answer for everyone. Better questions to ask would be "What kind of arts practice grappling?" or "What arts teach semi-contact sparring?". If you ask this question, you will inevitably get that one guy who says mma (not an art), the couple of douchebags who claim their own arts are the best, and two or three people with common sense who say "there is no better art. It depends YOU."
9) Can a girl defeat a guy?
Yes. In the end, it is not the gender, but the level of skill in an art (or self-defense or sparring, as the case may be) one possesses. A highly-skilled person will always beat a no-skilled person. I will take htis time to address some myths perpetuated by 15 year olds who think they understand anatomy:
Upon reading this, I want to answer one more question that gets asked all the time. How old can my child start martial arts? Of course, technically, you could sign him up at whatever age any teacher is willing to take him, some do as young as 2. However there are many, MANY issues to consider. Number one; does your child want to do it, or do you? Number two; does your child have any attention span? In other words, can he sit and watch a 30 minute cartoon without getting up to wander. In most classes, a kid most survive at least 45 minutes without becoming unglued. Number three; what do you hope to accomplish by taking him to martial arts? Self confidence, discipline, burn energy? Sure, your kid can get these at martial arts class, but we as teachers can only do so much for your child. Don't confuse martial arts class with daycare, either. Number four; Are you willing to pay for the classes, the uniform, the weapons, etc, even if he quits? Classes are an investment. If your child gets bored, and quits (and 90% of all kids do before black belt, by the way), can you deal with that? So how old can your child handle martial arts? Well, I have theory. Number One- your child should be potty trained, so at least three at the earliest. Number Two- your child should be able to dress himself or herself, provided that there are no mental deficiencies, so about...5, let's say. Number three- the child should at the very least be out of kindergarten. Why kindergarten? Because if your child can pass that, I know he/she can read their own name, which means that they understand the alphabet and then can effectively (even if they can't completely understand) their style's manual...so that's about 6. I will add that out of the 6 years olds that I have seen in my 6 year stint at the school I am at, only two have survived a full year of training. Odds get better of staying the older your child is when he starts. I have seen the best results from kids who started at 8 or 9, and many of those had a sibling already in the class. Although your child can start whenever you want him to, there are many things to consider. It's not like football or hockey where it's a race to get as much playing time in as possible to be able to go to a professional organization (no, UFC doesn't count). Most likely, your child will quit martial arts, and you have to be okay with that. That being said, it's up to you.
You don't need a martial art to be a good fighter. What you need is to live in a tough neighborhood, have a death wish, and buy knife or gun. Then, if you're not dead from your first fight, have a good lawyer on speed dial. I question whether or not most people understand the definition of a street fight. As I have previously said before, a cage fight involves a referee and rules, whereas a street fight involves lop-sided odds usually not in your favor and weapons (usually guns). A street fight is neither a cage match, nor a hair-pulling shoving match you get in junior high. When someone asks this question, you not only get the idea that they have a serious problem with thinking fights are cool, but they are exactly looking for the anti-thesis to self defense- never start shit.
2) Do you think if I train real hard, I could be a UFC fighter?
No.
3) My parents won't let me train in (insert art here). What do I do/how can I convince them?
A parent, when it's their money, will part with it for you if it's a necessity or it benefits them to do so. If, by some chance, they believe that the particular gym/studio is too expensive, they will refuse a child's request. At least, most sane parents do. A kid cannot convince them otherwise, nor is it polite to try to. Welcome to one of the most important pillars of martial arts- if you want something bad enough, you have to work for it. That means, you might actually have to get a job. This is not a bad thing. When you pay for your own lessons, you appreciate them more. You try harder, you go whenever you can- because it is an unsound investment if you do- and that in turn makes you a better, more mature martial artist than a child ever will be.
4)How much is too much for classes?
If you cannot make the monthly payment without difficulty, it's too much. If the place you are looking at offers you a "deal" meaning you have to sign a contract, run don't walk out. Remember that for most of us, as much as we swear it's a "lifestyle" it's not necessary to keep living and breathing. Unless you can make a substantial living at martial arts,- you are a great businessman hell-bent on taking our money, or an action star- you need to consider it a hobby. If class dues come before your family's needs or your own health, then it's not worth it.
5) What art should I study?
You can only study what is in your area. If it means driving 2 hours every day from home or work, then it's not worth it. Start by opening your phone book or looking on Google, cross off any that you are not willing to drive to, and if you don't live in a metropolitan area, it will leave you with a small list of candidates. If you have no preference for one art over the other (and do NOT listen to what other practitioners tell you. They are so knee-deep in their own junk that they have stopped emptying their cup years ago) then your question really becomes "what school/gym should I go to?" Make time to visit each school on your list. Come prepared with questions, and ask to watch a class. Most schools will let you watch and try a class for free. Don't leave without speaking to the head honcho. If he/she seems nervous, pushy, rude, or not-forthcoming, leave. When you find the right place for you, you know it. For experienced people looking for a new place to train, it's not always that simple, especially if it's impossible to study the art that you have been doing. You have to let go of all the preconceived notions of what the perfect a martial arts place should be, because you won't find it. Again, it's a timely and personal journey.
6) What does it take to be in the UFC?
Money, hard work, a good gym, top coaches, a positive training environment, getting noticed by promoters, sponsors to pay for training, a chance-of-a-lifetime fight (and winning that fight), an entourage to spread your name around, oh and ALL-AROUND SKILLS IN MARTIAL ARTS!
7) How would win in a street fight between (dead martial artist, martial artist/actor) and (animal-usually a grizzly bear or lion)?
The animal. Unless a shotgun is involved.
8) Which art is better, (art A) or (art B)?
Better for what? "Street fighting"? UFC? Pinochle? There is no "better" unless you provide some sort of abstract for weighing the pros and cons of studying certain arts, even then it is a personal question with a different answer for everyone. Better questions to ask would be "What kind of arts practice grappling?" or "What arts teach semi-contact sparring?". If you ask this question, you will inevitably get that one guy who says mma (not an art), the couple of douchebags who claim their own arts are the best, and two or three people with common sense who say "there is no better art. It depends YOU."
9) Can a girl defeat a guy?
Yes. In the end, it is not the gender, but the level of skill in an art (or self-defense or sparring, as the case may be) one possesses. A highly-skilled person will always beat a no-skilled person. I will take htis time to address some myths perpetuated by 15 year olds who think they understand anatomy:
- MYTH: Women can't stand a blow to their breasts. FACT: It's not really that bad. It's not like getting kicked in the balls. Although there are some nerves there, it's 95% fat. It's sort of like getting kicked in the ass. It stings, but it's not the end of the world. Lame-brained guys who punch a girl with martial arts training and muscle mass will see a rather unimpressed girl staring back at them...right before she knocks him out.
- MYTH: Women are the weaker sex so they will always lose the fight. FACT: You have never sparred with a competent female, have you?
- MYTH: Women aren't good at grappling. FACT: Women anatomically have a lower center of gravity and are the more flexible of the genders. This makes grappling an educated woman (in martial arts)similar to grappling a good wrestler. In time, we will see more women learning, teaching, and showcasing grappling arts.
Upon reading this, I want to answer one more question that gets asked all the time. How old can my child start martial arts? Of course, technically, you could sign him up at whatever age any teacher is willing to take him, some do as young as 2. However there are many, MANY issues to consider. Number one; does your child want to do it, or do you? Number two; does your child have any attention span? In other words, can he sit and watch a 30 minute cartoon without getting up to wander. In most classes, a kid most survive at least 45 minutes without becoming unglued. Number three; what do you hope to accomplish by taking him to martial arts? Self confidence, discipline, burn energy? Sure, your kid can get these at martial arts class, but we as teachers can only do so much for your child. Don't confuse martial arts class with daycare, either. Number four; Are you willing to pay for the classes, the uniform, the weapons, etc, even if he quits? Classes are an investment. If your child gets bored, and quits (and 90% of all kids do before black belt, by the way), can you deal with that? So how old can your child handle martial arts? Well, I have theory. Number One- your child should be potty trained, so at least three at the earliest. Number Two- your child should be able to dress himself or herself, provided that there are no mental deficiencies, so about...5, let's say. Number three- the child should at the very least be out of kindergarten. Why kindergarten? Because if your child can pass that, I know he/she can read their own name, which means that they understand the alphabet and then can effectively (even if they can't completely understand) their style's manual...so that's about 6. I will add that out of the 6 years olds that I have seen in my 6 year stint at the school I am at, only two have survived a full year of training. Odds get better of staying the older your child is when he starts. I have seen the best results from kids who started at 8 or 9, and many of those had a sibling already in the class. Although your child can start whenever you want him to, there are many things to consider. It's not like football or hockey where it's a race to get as much playing time in as possible to be able to go to a professional organization (no, UFC doesn't count). Most likely, your child will quit martial arts, and you have to be okay with that. That being said, it's up to you.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
CHAPTER SIX: A note to all black belts, sensei, sifu, sihing, etc.
Dear black belts, sensei, sifu, sihing, etc., and otherwise leaders of the martial arts community,
Stop addressing yourself by your title as if you were born with it. Seriously. Stop putting your title on websites, business cards, flyers, and seminar ad. Not only does it show your ignorance for how these titles are used to address respected individuals other than yourself, but it's also just tacky.
If someone really wants to know what your title is for training purposes, they will know to ask you or your senior students, and you or they will say, "You may call me/him/her ________" but unless that were to occur, please keep your title to yourself. A layperson looking for training or even a fellow martial artist is not impressed by how long or fancy-sounding your title is. If a person is really curious as to whether or not your ability is worth respect, they will find out for themselves sure enough. Really, nobody cares that you are grand master renshi sifu, 11th dan. Do you know what it means anyway?
Let's take the term "sensei" for a second. Sensei is a Japanese word in origin, and means "teacher". Makes sense that you would use this as a title for black belt,since traditionally black belt are the teachers. But there is a slight problem with this- ANYONE can be a sensei in Japanese culture, as long as they are respected by someone else. This title is used for a regular school teacher, for instance, or a doctor, or just someone older. Japanese people, however, NEVER REFER TO THEMSELVES AS "SENSEI". EVER. It goes back to tradition- respect others, humble yourself. We seem to have lost that.
That being said, it irritates and embarrasses me as a martial artist when someone is interviewed by a newspaper and addresses himself as "Grand Master" or "Hanshi" to the reporter like that is supposed to mean something to the public. All it means is "I'm head guy. Look at me!" when you really ought to be saying, "Hey, look at my hard-working students. Aren't they great?"
Humble pie. And a little linguistic correction. That's all I'm suggesting.
Stop addressing yourself by your title as if you were born with it. Seriously. Stop putting your title on websites, business cards, flyers, and seminar ad. Not only does it show your ignorance for how these titles are used to address respected individuals other than yourself, but it's also just tacky.
If someone really wants to know what your title is for training purposes, they will know to ask you or your senior students, and you or they will say, "You may call me/him/her ________" but unless that were to occur, please keep your title to yourself. A layperson looking for training or even a fellow martial artist is not impressed by how long or fancy-sounding your title is. If a person is really curious as to whether or not your ability is worth respect, they will find out for themselves sure enough. Really, nobody cares that you are grand master renshi sifu, 11th dan. Do you know what it means anyway?
Let's take the term "sensei" for a second. Sensei is a Japanese word in origin, and means "teacher". Makes sense that you would use this as a title for black belt,since traditionally black belt are the teachers. But there is a slight problem with this- ANYONE can be a sensei in Japanese culture, as long as they are respected by someone else. This title is used for a regular school teacher, for instance, or a doctor, or just someone older. Japanese people, however, NEVER REFER TO THEMSELVES AS "SENSEI". EVER. It goes back to tradition- respect others, humble yourself. We seem to have lost that.
That being said, it irritates and embarrasses me as a martial artist when someone is interviewed by a newspaper and addresses himself as "Grand Master" or "Hanshi" to the reporter like that is supposed to mean something to the public. All it means is "I'm head guy. Look at me!" when you really ought to be saying, "Hey, look at my hard-working students. Aren't they great?"
Humble pie. And a little linguistic correction. That's all I'm suggesting.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
CHAPTER FIVE: Why you should never use the martial arts as platform to fame.
This is the story about a fictional kid named Cody. He was the youngest kid at his Tae Kwon Do school to ever get a black belt at 6, and by 10 he’d already won over 20 medals at the Junior Olympics. Cody was an XMA star by the ripe old age of 11. He specialized in nunchaku, musical forms, and- his favorite- a weapons routine he calls aerial swords. His father, Jerry, a famed master of his own style, saw the potential in Cody and embarked on a Hollywood career for his young boy. He got a couple job offers, most notably a music video and a read for the lead in the blockbuster, Ninja Baby vs. the Assassins. He didn’t get the role, but he did get a bit part in one of the non-pivotal scenes. By age 13, he had cut a deal with a martial art supply chain to plug his very own model bo staff (although he did nothing for the design), and he had a work-out video designed for other XMA kids.
You could say that Cody was the perfect kid. And he sure was that exemplary student every teacher dreams about. He had the medals and money to prove it. It sure was a shame though, that after years of using a sword, he never developed a healthy respect for sharp blades (perhaps it was because he never used a sharp blade). I say this because what happened next was a dangerous mix of Darwinism and schadenfreude. Young Cody’s go getter attitude finally got him in trouble when he decided at age 14 to go get a stuck twig out of a push mower. The rest as they say is history.
Cody is now 20 years old. He can’t do martial arts anymore, not that he’d want to. He’s bumming about UCLA with a degree in general studies, and couldn’t care less about his future. He only has two whole fingers, a thumb, and parts of the others on his right hand- which is just enough to drink beer and hold a joint with. Despite his unfortunate turn of events, he is strangely happy with it. The experience got him out of his father’s watchful eye, which is now on his younger sister Lisa. Currently at 8, she is number one in the world in musical forms, and Jerry couldn’t be prouder. She’s won over 50 titles, has her own line of workout gear, and is on the honor roll. She is following in Cody’s footstep, alright. She’s been auditioning for roles in film and TV recently. She’s set to film her first feature film as Kiki the fighting cheerleader- that is, after she becomes the youngest athlete in history to have a total hip replacement.
So that is a fictional story, but you can see parts of it could easily be true. Which brings me to my point- why does martial arts attract this much crap to the lives of children? In what universe is it okay to tell your kid that you can participate only if you are the best? It is the most frustrating thing to watch a parent take a talented kid and run him or her into ground until they have sucked the joy out of martial arts completely.I realize that this is not a problem exclusive to martial arts. It’s tough to not want the most in everything you do, but there are other things to consider that are just as valuable; like, your sanity. Or your health. Or your money. How many people do you know have sunk their money into a dojo or gym looking to become the next big thing, or to fail in realizing that their potential just isn’t that great?
Okay, a real story now. A guy that used to go to my school ( I dubbed him Wally) had aspirations of being a cage fighter. It’s a common dream nowadays, and why not? The phrase “six figure contract” sounds pretty good to a guy working a crappy job. And when you’re a big guy anyway, it sounds like a perfect fit. Just one problem though- this guy wasn’t good. He trained in two arts; karate and aiki (neither of them exactly good for cage fighting, I might add), but he didn’t really show interest or promise in either one of them. Did I mention there was one problem? It gets worse. Wally was so big, he could barely move, and he had two (yes, two) shot knees. He also had two very young kids, and a not so stable job. I say that last part because, while his abilities were limited, Wally’s heart was in the right place, along with his wallet. He believed until the end (even after Head Sensei told him he was an idiot) that this little bit of training and some gym time would turn him into a fighter. He told us one weekend he’d be missing class to attend his first MMA fight. He never came back. I just think of all that money he wasted on something he was doomed to fail at, when his wife and kids could have benefitted from a little investment. True, fatherhood doesn’t exactly pay out, but you get where I am going, right?
Only 1% of us is a Bruce Lee, a Georges St. Pierre, a David Carradine, or a Cynthia Rothrock (go look her up, kiddies). Having said that, it astonishes me how many martial artist go out of their way to prove they’re number one. I keep thinking about that famous Youtube clip of the boy wielding a staff, and thinking that, assuming he was the best one, there must have been a hundred little kids just like him who spent whatever the ungodly amount the entry fee was, and they didn’t even get on TV, let alone place. And then there are the fighters who end up in hospital with broken appendages because they picked a fight with someone they had no chance in beating. As martial artists, we have to be better than this. The title of artist gives us the ability to forget the martial part if we so desire. A little competition is good, but a little masochism never helped anybody.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
